I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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