Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize