Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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