the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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