i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
