Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
