no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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