The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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