That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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