i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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