where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
