I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
