Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
