even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
