turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
