why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
