I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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