it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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