I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I have aggressive nipples.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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