I skipped work to stalk him.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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