Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
