i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
