It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
