my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
