You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
