loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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