i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
