So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
