THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
