Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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