I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize