They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
