giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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