I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
