In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Panties = found
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