I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize