I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
