I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just sent this text using only my big toe
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
