awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
