i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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