I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
