the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
