Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
