Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
