Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
