Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
