Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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