while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
