Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
