I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Is it penis luge time yet?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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