It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Randomize
