I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
