O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Boobs speak an international language.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
