I don't think brook has ever known best
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
did i just pee glitter
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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