Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
