It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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