Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
false alarm, still single
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
