I wanna passion pit in your ass
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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