HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize
